February 2012
6 posts
The longest hour...
…was the Chris Hardwick comedy show I saw tonight in NYC. At least I ate a slice of white pizza at the pizzeria Louie CK eats a slice in the opening of his show Louie.
8 tags
The Siege (1998)
This past weekend I was helping my friend and associate prepare for a Sociology/Current Issues/Social Issues class and we watched this movie to prepare notes and the like. The Siege was shot in ‘97 (probably) and then released in ‘98. Okay, tell me more. Sure! Re-watching this movie about 13 years later, there are some really eerie parallels with the movie from ‘98 and...
aarbi asked: found your blog by accident, not bad. starship troopers: 1959, not 1987.
goodgurlz asked: Do you know what pretty little liars is!!
January 2012
3 posts
8 tags
Fake Indiana Jones & Fake Star Wars Movie Reviews
Back when I had my Blogspot blog I watched what I thought was going to be this version of King Solomon’s Mines (1985.) It was the version shot 35 years before this one. Despite disappointment, I soldiered through watching it and reviewed it. I had to procure this one from a friend of a friend. I sat down with my good friend and associate that I’ll call “Jason” and...
An update due for an upcoming update!
Okay, here’s the deal my almost 7,000 followers:
I’m going to Denver for a wedding, January 12th thru 16th.
I’m having down time there as it’s a multi-day event that I’m not overly involved with.
I’m watching a few movies while there.
I’m writing out some reviews.
I’m starting up the reviewing machine again when I return to New Jersey.
...
1 tag
Highlander (1986)
Jean Girard: [Jean chuckles, confused] What is the Highlander? Ricky Bobby: It’s a movie. It won the Academy Award. Jean Girard: Oh for what? Ricky Bobby: Best movie ever made.
Probably true. I started watching it on December 30th, 2011. I got to the part where they were back in time and Connor gets injured while fighting on the highlands. (I would assume.) Um, I don’t know...
December 2011
1 post
Lack of updating... :(
Sorry for all those people who for some reason or another follow me, but I’ve been really busy with working. See, normally I substitute teacher and live in the same town as my usual commute. It’s about 5 minutes. However, as a freelancer, I travel for other jobs. The current freelancing position I’ve taken is farther (or further?) than my 5 minute commute by 30 minutes. (35...
November 2011
2 posts
6 tags
Red State (2011)
“An unlikely film from that Kevin Smith” indeed. It wasn’t at all what I expected from “that” Kevin Smith. His movies always go a certain way, a teenage/coming of age way. This one doesn’t at all! The movie pretty much builds up to a shootout followed by a message (most likely about the Westboro Baptist Church.)
The actors fulfill their roles very well,...
October 2011
5 posts
4 tags
Friday the 13th Part XI: Jason Goes to Hell
Even while drinking my way through this movie, it was rough. The beginning I was like, “Nice, another movie of what I saw in the first, second, and third!” However then Jason gets blown up by the FBI and during an autopsy, a black coroner eats his heart and then it possessed by Jason’s evil spirit? Yeah, something like that.
Now, my expectation was a classic horror movie...
4 tags
Tron: Legacy (2011)
I don’t have anything but good things to say about this movie. I woke up late one Saturday morning, about 11:00AM and was sitting around drinking my coffee and Tron: Legacy started maybe 5 minutes ago. I ended up sitting there for 2 hours and 5 minutes watching until the very end of the film.
There wasn’t a whole lot of character development, but I didn’t need it because...
anjobipolar asked: following, follow back?
2 tags
The Green Hornet (2011)
Apologies to any and all who were waiting for me to return to blogging on here. I was very busy working for a certain company’s tech channel for the month of September and had no time to watch movies, only a quick episode of Battlestar: Galactica here and there.
So, I start off reviews again with The Green Hornet…
Quick anecdote, I raised Seeing Eye Puppies while in college...
September 2011
2 posts
6 tags
Friday the 13th party VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan...
He actually does no such thing in the movie. Sure, many students taking a tramp steamer of some sort get sliced and diced, electrocuted, drowned, or maimed in some way, but he doesn’t take over Manhattan. However the movie does have this:
See, he has to be on a subway in late 80s New York City. (notice how shitty it was in that subway car.)
Also a student tried to box Jason.
...
I've been a busy guy.
So, the updates have been slow, I know. I’ve been a very busy boy lately. I’ve been working a freelance gig with the Atlantic Telegraph and Telephone Tech Channel. Then, this past Friday I went on a bender in Jonas, PA (lovely little town.) Followed next morning by an entire day of running around shooting and getting shot at with paintballs. The last movie I saw was Jason Takes...
August 2011
3 posts
6 tags
Crazy Stupid Love (2011)
So, I saw this movie recently and I only had to wade through a throng of senior citizens since it was senior night. They were all leaving as I was entering for a 9:50 showing. Also, this was the second theater I went to trying to see this movie, that’s all beside the point, since this review will be positive, as opposed to the prior three posted here.
Steve Carell plays Cal, whose wife,...
6 tags
True Grit (2010)
::BANGS HEAD ON WALL::
I haven’t been enjoying new movies as of lately: Sucker Punch, Battle: Los Angeles, and now, True Grit.
It was boring. Sure, the sets looked nice and the tone and atmosphere are there, but I doubt the Wild West was so boring… I mean, it was called the WILD West. The first hour just drags onward. Jeff Bridges plays Nick Nolte as Rooster Cogburn. Matt Damon...
Battle: Los Angeles (2011)
Disappointing and stupid.
July 2011
6 posts
3 tags
Sucker Punch (2011)
That’s how I felt after watching this: Sucker Punched. The trailer looks cool and you don’t really get a grasp on what the movie’s about or the story. Then you watch it and realize there really isn’t a story. Yeah, stuff happens, and it’s stupid stuff. I didn’t like this movie. Stylistically it’s cool, but I saw that in 300 and The Watchmen. The...
5 tags
Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)
HAHAHAHAHA! This movie was great! Give a shotgun to a hobo in a town of filth, immorality, or immoralness, whichever one’s right, scandal, dirty cops, whores, gangsters, and shit goes down!
Okay, quick backstory on how this movie came about: Remember that fake trailer contest for Grindhouse? This was one of them, and it was made. However, this time they got Rutger Hauer to play the...
5 tags
Total Recall (1990)
A 1990 sci-fi extravaganza! Amazing! Lavish even! All the effects were, for the most part, REAL, unlike some other guy who used green screens with his sci-fi legacy:
Note: his film legacy includes this guy:
Anyway, back to TOTAL RECALL. Arnold plays someone who may or may not be a sleeper secret agent on Earth that gets awakened or activated and has to get to Mars to do something....
5 tags
Holy shit! I found review gold!
So, I’m on vacation and I’ve been drinking. My current location is a condo in wildwood crest, NJ. In the condo is a flatscreen tv, a dvd player and a small tv cabinet leftover from the age of dinosaur tvs. Inside the cabinet is a small collection of dvds. Some good, some childish and one that will hopefully bring review gold: Super Mario Brothers!
Stay tuned!
V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!
I will be back around the 17th.
4 tags
Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)
CRAP.
The first one was better, Paranormal Activity 2 explains some of it’s predecessor with a line or two. There were some spooky events; like when all the cabinets opened at once, and when Kristi was getting dragged out of the room and down the stairs, but otherwise CRAP. I didn’t mind watching it though. I give this two stars, since I didn’t like it (as much as the...
June 2011
12 posts
6 tags
Frozen (2010)
So, I was at a BeerBQ on Sunday, and I was given a tip about a really bad movie. Oh yeah, it’s streaming on Netflix! I was told that the movie’s about three dumbasses that get stuck up on a chair lift at a ski lodge for a while. Well, I didn’t learn much about the movie, except disaster strikes. Moreover there were theories and ideas on how to get out of the chair....
5 tags
Battle for Haditha (2007)
Battle for Haditha underwhelmed me, since I believed it would be in the vein of real documentary like Restrepo. In reality, it turns out to just be based on the real event and actors are brought in and told to improvise their way through the entire film. There’s also some rushed politicizing in the beginning of the movie, and for me, it doesn’t peak above mediocrity. It’s an...
1 tag
Falling Skies (part two)
Yeah, didn’t get through all of the second episode, I was seeing too many parallels to Jeremiah (same show but without aliens, ran on Showtime March ‘02 to September ‘04.) The “we got kidnapped” episode was also early in the first season of Jeremiah. I actually got into the latter, and it’s even streaming on Netflix at the posting of this entry.
Maybe...
5 tags
Falling Skies (2011) [TNT Series] Part One
Months ago I saw a trailer for this and I was all like “WHOA! WOW! COOL! Noah Wyle’s still working! Hey, SPEILBERGH put a hand in this!” So I set a reminder two months from then and then found out it was on in another month and a half. Currently I’m writing this review and watching it.
Noah Wyle plays a Boston history professor who tries to keep his family together...
5 tags
Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
I watched this film on a whim; it was in my queue and I have seen the others in the series. The second was my favorite, Resident Evil: Apocalypse and while the third was good too, it was kind of out there story wise.
Afterlife falls flat for me, since it doesn’t really capture the tone of the series, it tries to be something it’s not. Also the writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson...
7 tags
L.A. Confidential (1997)
L.A. Confidential falls into the neo-noir genre yet aims so much to be a fully fledged film noir. Why does it fall short? It’s not in BLACK AND WHITE! True film noir needs only black and white in order to let the shadows play on the backdrop and properly set the tone, mood, and atmosphere. L.A. Confidential has the spine of film noir, has those elements of darkness, double crosses,...
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letsgetnakednowthati asked: you should totally review the human centipede. or interview with the vampire. pretty please? :D
2 tags
Request time! (again)
I still have no idea whey I’ve gotten an influx of followers. Last time I took requests, I only had about 50 followers, but now that I’ve broken 300, let me pose the question again:
“Does anyone have any requests of movies that I should review?”
Either answer the above question, or send one of those private message things. I’ll then try to get to the review and...
7 tags
Ghostbusters II (1989)
Sometimes after watching one movie, you notice only an hour and a half went by, and the night’s young. My friend says, “Hey, is the first Ghostbusters streaming?”
“I don’t know, we’ll check…. oh, just the second one.”
“Let’s watch that,” says my friend.
Well, what can I say about Ghostbusters II? Does it attempt to cash in on...
5 tags
Forced Vengeance (1982)
Okay, holy crap, I really don’t know where all the new followers came from, but welcome aboard! I’m just going to keep going like I haven’t noticed, but kudos all around to finding this tumblr and clicking on “follow.”
Anyway, let me tell you about a movie that’s awesome since it contains Chuck Norris. I’ve seen many of his works, and yes, I’ve...
May 2011
6 posts
4 tags
Paranormal Activity (2007)
My 100th post and I’ve planned NOTHING special for this. However, this film I really liked. Paranormal Activity’s budget consisted of $15,000 and it made MILLIONS! The movie’s simple, I like simple movies since there isn’t a whole lot getting in the way. I also like movies that make your imagination run away on you. There’s a demon of some such that’s...
3 tags
Casino Jack (2010)
Disappointed, the trailer portrays this movie as much more exciting than it delivers. Especially disappointed at how Barry Pepper tries to play Matthew McConaughey throughout this movie. Two stars and a 5.
4 tags
Get Low (2009)
Robert Duvall’s getting older, yes, but in turn he taking still taking roles and acting the shit out of them. He plays Felix, a hermit, who sets up this living funeral for him with Bill Murray. Felix tells, “anyone can come as long as they have a story to tell about me.” Well, ends up when the living funeral comes around, we only hear Felix’s one story and no one...
This year July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5...
I NEED MONEY!
April 2011
4 posts
5 tags
Restrepo (2010)
Restrepo’s real. It’s intense. It’s only an hour and a half, but wow, what an hour and a half. You see US soldiers determined, skilled, pushed to the breaking point, and fighting for survival. The name comes from Private First Class Restrepo, who was killed in action during the beginning of “Second Platoon, B Company, 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment...
7 tags
127 Hours (2010)
Well, another new(er) film reviewed by yours truly. This’ll be a quick review as there isn’t all that much to be said from my end. James Franco did a great job, and Danny Boyle did a good job telling one person how to act like he’s pinned by a boulder in solitude. The camera angles and shots are good and even a little experimental, which keeps the movie inventive with a man...
4 tags
Invasion U.S.A. (1985)
During the anti-communist 80’s this film came out to show America “everything will be alright, since we rule!” That’s the whole message of the film. The plot: Operatives already in the country sneak in a bunch more communists/freedom fighters/terrorists and stage a guerilla warfare style conflict. They impersonate police in one scene in order to begin turning the...
1 tag
The Objective (2008)
Ewww… My hopes were very high for this movie, since on the IMDB boards said “Watch The Objective” when someone asked “What else is like The Hurt Locker?” I wish I hadn’t seen this one. Really, I hated this movie. The poster lies to you, so does the synopsis. Nowhere in either of those does it say “this movie will not meet expectations.” The...